Yuletide lament from the Barry Pankhurst collection

Christmas 09Christmas 09Yuletide lament

 

Oh miasma in my mind, aurora of a festive sky,

your mist in my eyes now shrouds my Noel sight,

thence clarity is gone from pure crystalline thoughts,

and with a shuffle walk that was once a St Nick stride,

 

With tremor in my hands that can not be controlled,

lay hold of pen, nor grasp Christmas knife and fork,

raise up a flute of wine unto the eager festive lips,

without constantly shaking for that quenching sip,

 

Though Christmas approaches yet I can not retreat,

betwixt memories of past and my ultimate fate,

when the memories were crisp as a flurry of snow,

but now smoulder in lament upon a Yule log hearth glow,

 

The pungent pine with its charismatic scent of a wine,

embraces the nativity star during the season of advent,

whilst Christmas lights create a tranquil vision of bliss,

yet my mind withdraws from the twinkling more perplexed,

 

Many presents lay scattered around the base of the tree,

wrapped and then bound with loving ribbons and bows,

make a reflection of my own childhood Christmas past,

but now withered fingers are defied by such knots…

 

As I sit and dwell upon these awesome festive nights,

children’s stockings hung waiting on the mantel for St Nick,

I panic and twitch within bewilderments crimson cloak,

since blood and Christmas both portray in the deepest red…

 

Now as I gaze at my family the passions of my life,

tears whelm within heart for the Christmases of yore,

whence all was joyous in my thought, yet now I view fright,

for I dread the day I forget Christmas delights…

 

So with the joys of the season from blessings of the birth,

let the Christmas spirit live ever on in your heart,

thus I wish you sweet dreams and a sounder goodnight,

and pray unto God, this won’t be my last yuletide…

 

Barry December 09

 

 

 

Some of the comments given to this poem:

1,

Hello Barry,Such pain cloaked in such beauty.

Helen.

 

2,

Barry, I am going to dare ramble a bit to you here…. I find your poetry quite stunning and to be honest completely overwhelming at times….. It’s been a long time since I commented on any of your poems or your ‘style’ (which is so close to many favorites of mine from the past). It’s not because I don’t like your poetry and don’t appreciate it (quite the reverse) … it’s because I’ve just needed to wrap myself up in reams of ‘emotional cotton wool’ for a while ……You have an essence of capturing such complete ‘rawness’, open honesty, and tremendous courage in such beautiful language which I find breathtaking …..I find Christmas a time of gifts and hope … (not the parcels – as you say, the very ‘blessings of a birth’) and I just wanted to thank you for continuing to share your gift of poetry and expression here….I wish you much peace this Christmas and beyond….

With thanks, Karen,

 

3,

Barry, I think this is my most favorite poem of yours so far, it is truly wonderful. I believe the second to last verse says it all for those who are affected by this disease. Thank you once again for sharing. My thoughts and love are with you and your family during the festive season.
June x

 

4,

I’m speechless!! Wonderful

Norrms

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